I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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