Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
