did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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