so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
