woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
