It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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