Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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