addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
