It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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