You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
