Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
