he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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