If that was your dad, he is hot
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I touched a dick in church today
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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