I seem to have left my pride at pride
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
