i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
