I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
