That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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