Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
