I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Oh god it's open bar.
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