Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
