She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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