It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
