This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
