Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Oh god it's open bar.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
