We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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