My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
