My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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