If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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