So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
