Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize