my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she pinky promised me she was 18
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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