kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
