i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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