this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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