Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We're too hungover to prance.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
