i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
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i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
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Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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