Joe is yelling at the trees again.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
