hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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