"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
What a dumb baby whore.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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