Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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