I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
its liver damage thursday
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize