lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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