And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
