The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
