I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
