no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
