My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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