I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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