there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
