In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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