oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
