Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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