A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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