whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
