Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
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I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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