so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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