why didn't you poke me back
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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