Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
