Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
